Searching On

While procrastinating from my Berryman/Ted Hughes essay, I looked up the most popular search terms used to find this blog. Here they are in grey, and what I thought of them in red:

stumbledonauniverse

I greatly approve of this search term.

cyprus is growing on me wordpress

Strangely, this is the 2nd most popular search term…perhaps it’s the name of another blog. In any case, I completely agree, although the  recent latest case of Euro-theft is changing my mind. Poor Cyprus.

stumbled upon a universe teregulova

I love how the internet has pretty much turned us all into stalkers. Should I be concerned or complimented?

indefinite leave to remain 10 years

Yes, you can apply after 10 years lawful residency.

teregulova boats

I write one boat-related article and now this is the 5th most popular search term….

indefinite leave to remain processing time

It’s long. If you are applying under long residency (10-14 years) the UKBA ‘aim to complete 95% of applications within 6 months. Apparently, there is a backlog of fiancee-related application going back to 2003 right now. I repeat, it’s long. But if you are not applying under long residency and choose to fork out 1K then you can get it done in 24/48 hours (potentially). I seriously doubt the UKBA splitting/breaking up will change anything in terms of the competency of ILR processing. 

the royal tenenbaums

It’s a classic. There really ought to be more Wes Anderson related stuff online.

stumbled on a universe

No spaces required between words, but still, great search term.

indefinite leave to remain ireland visa

Yes, you still need an Irish visa if you have ILR in the UK. I know, it sucks. I mean, the Irish are not even making any money out of it (at least, the visa is free for Russian citizens), so I really don’t see the point in most cases. I love Ireland don’t get me wrong, but if you have ILR in the UK there wouldn’t be much need for you to work on/overstay in Ireland… It’s this silly bureaucracy that’s harming these countries themselves. And I am still upset that they only gave me a 2-week (or was it 1 month?) single entry visa when I went for Christmas. Granted, I only stayed for 5 days and decided to come back home early to celebrate New Years with my friends. But if it was longer/multi-entry, I would have gone back after New Years to do some more tourism (a.k.a. spending). So, as always, it’s their loss. Even the Schengen standard tourist visa is a multi for 2 months. (Just to clarify, I really do love Ireland and really enjoyed my time there). 

stumbled upon a universe

It’s stumbled ‘on’ a universe, no spaces. But still, good search term.

wes anderson universe house

Oh I wish. There really ought to be a Disneyworld style ‘Wes Anderson Universe’ where you can stay in a Wes Anderson-themed hotel, etc, etc, with a very strict dress code. I would live there. I think this is the beginning of a great business idea…

“olivia teregulova”

My, my, I have stalkers! How delightful!

essays on making sure you pick up appointment slips

Um, there really is not that much you can say about remembering to pick up appointment slips, and I really doubt my little blog can help you. Try Jstor. 

origin of name teregulova

I do realise that the Cold War is over and that there must be other English-speaking people with my surname, but still. There really cannot be that many if this led them onto my blog. And for the record, the masculine version of my surname (without the ‘a’ at the end) means ‘son of God’ in some language that is not Russian. I really hope that adding the ‘a’ to the end makes it ‘daughter of God,’ but I somehow doubt it. My (proper) first name also means ‘holy,’ so overall, a great name for an existentialist, I think. 

wes anderson robert louis stevenson

No, the former is not casting the latter in an upcoming tragicomedy.

russian embassy london gcse

No, the Russian Embassy in London sadly does not offer GCSE (although I did do my A-levels at a college pretty much opposite it). Also, no there is no GCSE on the subject of the workings of the Russian Embassy London, although given how much time I spent there when I was 18, I wish there was. It would be a pretty easy GCSE given how slowly everything gets done over there. 

‘on the road royal’ tenenbaums

Inverted commas are in the wrong place but that’s okay. Although I am planning to write on the former in one of my exams, I must say, I really have gotten over Kerouac and the Beats (although I did spent an entire summer just reading them). Quite odd that this search term would lead to my blog- it must have taken a long time to scroll through all the other google results. 

philosophy of the royal tenenbaums

Oh yes please. Someone should really write that. 

importance littérature royal tenenbaum

Well, considering Margot Tenenbaum was a genius playwright who read Chekhov at age 12, I would assume it was rather important.

issue of schengen visa for a holder of cyprus pink slip

Yes, you need one, and yes, they issue them. As far as I know you can go to Cyprus through a Schengen country (with a Schengen visa obviously) without needing a Cypriot visa, but not the other way around. You also cannot go directly to Cyprus from a non-Schengen country even if you have a Schengen visa without a Cypriot visa. This is making my head spinn. 

if i hold a uk indefinite leave to remain, do i have to follow long line at heathrow

Great one! Yes, unfortunately you do have to take the long queue. There are ways around this, such as not travelling economy, and some airlines do offer priority passes. Whenever I am travelling from a Non-EU country I always try to find a way to get into the priority queue, as the Non-EU one can get quite long (once it took 5 hours flying back from Moscow). Alternately, do as I did when I was younger and go to the EU/HOME queue and pretend you didn’t realise. This only really worked when I was under 16 and even then sometimes they made me go all the way back to the end of the Non-EU queue. But if the queue is that long, you might as well give it a try. 

issue of schengen visa for a holder of cyprus pink slip1

Yes, you still need one.

if ilr is given do all checks get repeated when on citizenship

Yes, all checks get repeated when you apply for British Citizenship after holding ILR for at least a year. I doubt they are as stringent though.

indefinite leave to remain

Yes, I do go on about this quite a bit.

uk application processing time

As I said before, it’s (usually) long and expensive (this is England after all).

british citizenship test debacle

Yes they changed the test. Not that it was easy before ,although you could guess a lot of the questions (there is a pattern to them), but I must say the new one is really hard. But clearly necessary, because being able to list the British monarchs in order obviously determines how good a citizen you will be. No that I am complaining. At all. 

hobbit dealing with bureaucracy

They don’t like it. Might make one late for dinner.

i put my title wrong on my ilr application form does that make any difference

As in Miss/Mrs? Well, if you tick the ‘single’ /’married’ box later on in the application, they would probably figure it out for themselves, based on all the other information they have on you. I would call in and ask just in case though, as they could potentially send it back and charge you the fee again. I doubt they would be that cruel thought. Of course not.  

10 year lawful residence

Yep, go ahead, apply for ILR.

darjeeling limited literature

Well, Jack Whitman was a writer of (‘All the characters are completely fictional’) semi-autobiographical novels and short stories.

british citizenship who bothers

This is by far my favourite one, and I will be writing an article about this soon.

wouldnt it be ukbas mistake if they returned a correct ilr application as invalid

Yes, it would be. But good luck trying to convince them/refund the fee. Do check if it is actually correct though, and then phone up for a long and expensive chat with the UKBA enquiries lady.

brighton lawyer apply for indefinite

Yes, contrary to popular belief, they have people in Brighton other than wanna-be rockstars. Although they probably still want to be rockstars and wear a Nirvana t-shirt under there suits. 

can i hand in my indefinite leave to remain application in durham in person

Yes, you can pay around 1K and hand in your application directly to the Home Office in Croydon or Glasgow (although I am not sure if the latter do ILR, maybe just visas). Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), Durham does not have a Home Office. We do however, have a DSU which is very similar in more than a few ways, although the cafe in there is quite nice (they have beanbags). Maybe the Home Office should have a cafe and bean bags. I’ll recommend this to them when I go next (hopefully never). 

wes anderson room

A room in the style of a Wes Anderson film? This is my dream (although my little hobbit-hole is starting to fit the bill). 

how to make an indefinite lotr application

How to make an Indefinite Lord of the Rings application? Call, Peter Jackson, he’ll help you out. 

do i need a visa to dublin if i have uk indefinate leave to remain?

Yes, yes you do.

indefinite leave to remain uk processing time

Long.

travel not to go anywhere but to go

No matter where you go, you will always be in the same place: ‘somewhere.’ And lost. 

Ols.

Croatia and Montenegro on a Sailboat

Hello again readers! I have now returned from my latest adventures and am back in Durham fervently revising for exams and writing a comparative essay on Tony Harrison and John Berryman (and, due to my obsession with Ellen Degeneres, trying to recreate the LA lifestyle in the North of England by doing daily pilates and going vegan and gluten free….emphasis on the ‘trying’….). As devastated as I was to return to England, it is actually quite surprising how quickly I have settled back in and the lack of post-holiday blues. As the title suggests, we not only visited Zagreb, Split, Dubrovnik, and Trogir in Croatia, but actually ended up sailing to Kotor in Montenegro too, as well as visiting Budva for a day. In short, I loved it- the people in both countries and the crew we sailed with were incredible. The weather was kind to us- yes I dived off the boat in 12 degree water- and everything was just so beautiful. 

I do admit that I somehow must have missed Montenegro when reading my travel itinerary. For me, it has always been one of those places I had been interested in, but would never have thought of actually planning a visit to. But I am just so incredibly happy and appreciative that I had a chance to see it. I really want to urge everyone to go- it is so incredibly unspoilt by tourism (the hideous kind) and the landscapes are just magnificent. During our two days there, we actually managed to establish a ‘local’ where we watched the recent Montenegro vs Moldova football game- and the fact that you can smoke inside there, well, that’s just a bonus. 

I really have to mention our fantastic taxi-driver/tour guide who drove us to Budva. He looked pretty much exactly like sad Ted from Scrubs, and when he told us that he used to be a lawyer I could barely stop myself from laughing. He knew so much about Montenegro and its history and took such pride in his homeland that it was beautiful. His pride was completely distinct from that of say, some of the unfortunate extreme nationalism we have over here- he did not think that his country was any better than others, but he loved it because it was his. This, to me is such an alien and magnificent feeling that I actually felt rather envious. And when it comes to globalisation, as he said, ‘If you want McDonalds then go to America.’ If only more people and places could adopt that kind of attitude. He was full of stories, jokes and anecdotes, like the one about their President insulting Obama over the phone, and then the latter calling him back saying ‘I spent three hours looking for Montenegro on the map and I still cannot find it, but once I do you better watch out.’ Everything and everyone there, to me, just seemed so beautiful that, as I kept repeating throughout our trip, it would be much easier to entertain the idea of God existing living in such a place like that (I am *very* atheistic). 

Unfortunately we spent most of our time in Croatia out in the water, but everyone we did meet was so lovely to us. I really think we did get very lucky. I even managed to pick up a tiny bit of Croatian (it has a lot of similar words with Russian and they speak it in Montenegro too, albeit with a different accent apparently). In terms of immigration between Croatia and Montenegro, I do know we had to get our passports stamped but I wasn’t personally dealing with this (everyone on the boat- crew and guests- had to give in their passports at the start of the trip but we got them back when we returned to Croatia). 

In terms of my other immigration debacles, I have now received my I-20 form for my US student visa so I plan to get this done at the end of the Easter holidays. I also have the invitation letter for my Schengen (French) visa but I still need to sort out accommodation and other stuff but I will keep you all updated. As for my indefinite leave application, I am still stuck on the ‘let’s spend the better part of eternity counting the amount of days spent outside the UK since I was 12′ debacle. My ‘people’ have actually gotten in touch with the Home Office to see if they can help us out. All I know is that you ‘have to be as precise as possible’ a.k.a. you can be rather un-precise, and that the UKBA (or whatever it will be calling itself when it apparently ‘breaks up’) check the information against your passports themselves. So the Home Office will get back to us on the 1st of April until which I am free of immigration-related activities. I did however, order the Life in the Uk test handbook this morning which is very exciting, but I won’t be taking the actual test until September as I am rather busy with other exams until then. Unfortunately, my lawyers have also informed me that there is ‘absolutely no’ type of priority/fast track for ILR applications based on Long Residency and that it could take up to/over 6 months. Still adamant to find a way around this. 

So that’s all for now. Once again that you to everyone we met and particularly the crew for making this trip incredible. Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy my photos of Montenegro and Croatia from the trip below. 

Ols.

A Brief Pre-Croatian Update

First of all I really want to thank all my new followers since my last post. Yours Truly is very humbled and pleased, and hopes that you all enjoy this blog. Okay, so I know that usually my posts are widely spaced apart and rather lengthy, but since all my immigration-related activity is about to become more intense, I decided that I might as well start making shorter and more frequent updates as I go along. So this post will cover the current status of my Indefinite Leave (UK) application, the aforementioned visit to Croatia, and my upcoming US and French travels this summer.

As with my last post, I promise that this will not be a rant. But to be quite honest, the main reason I started this blog, apart from  sharing my experiences with those in similar uncommon positions, is for therapy. Immigration, by nature, is stressful, and a blog is, frankly, much cheaper than getting a psychiatrist/life coach/valium addiction. I do realise that my situation is really not that bad, but having five exams, four summative essays, an Indefinite Leave to Remain application, a Life in the UK test, a US via application, a Schengen Visa application, internships, a French test upcoming, as well as multiple various other commitments and tribulations,can make one quite overwhelmed. All you can really do is plow on, and try to not let it all get to you. But the real problem is that the people whom I am forced to depend on *always* screw up.

As I said in my last post, I have now hired a lawyer for my Indefinite Leave to Remain application in the UK. At first I tried to go through my fathers’ people in Moscow to help me find a good firm. They apparently got in touch with some lawyers and relayed the details of my circumstances to them. It was when I received the following email from the former, that i realised, as I always do after trying to deal with them, that I have to take matters into my own hands:

‘Dear Olivia,

this is the information provided by the lawyers:

Miss Olivia should be eligible to apply for indefinite leave to remain
from September 2014 based on 10 years lawful residence if all of the
following requirements are met:

·        The applicant must have spent no periods in excess of 6
months (at one time) away from the UK and must not have spent more
than 18 months in total (540 days) away during the 10 years.

·        All in country visa applications must have been submitted
prior to the expiry of the current visa in order to meet the
continuous lawful residence requirement – any rejections or refusals
may affect the lawful residence requirement.

·        The applicant must undertake the Life in the UK test.

·        The applicant must be free of any unspent criminal convictions.’

I don’t know whether the lawyers are not able to see that January 2004 plus 10 years equals January 2014, or whether the former party was unable to relay the correct information. I realise that this is a small mistake, but this time I decided to give neither party the benefit of the doubt. In order to avoid several months of stressful to-ing and fro-ing, re-explaining and correcting, I decided to find another firm myself. Under my mother’s recommendation (she used them for visa applications in the past), I decided to go with Ferguson Snell & Associates. So just after I registered with the UKBA’s Life in the UK ( it being still too early to make an appointment for the test), I called up Ferguson Snell and was dealt with quickly, courteously, and efficiently by, for once, someone who clearly knew what they were talking about.

For now, before we get started with the process, I have to deal with precisely what I have been dreading. I have to record *every* single trip out of the UK since I was 12 years old, and make sure that it is less than 540 days in total. Although I travel quite extensively, I am almost pretty sure that it is less. However, since I am due to spend 3 months abroad this coming summer alone, I am slightly worried. If only *someone* thought to let me know of this rule beforehand. But in any case, apparently you can apply for ‘compassionate circumstances’ if you do go over the day limit. I mean, its not like I spent that time living in another country in which I have permanent residence, or my country of origin- I was just on holiday.

So my lawyers asked me if i could compile the list of my every exit out of the UK this weekend. I mean, I really have no idea how on Earth I am meant to remember every time I went on holiday since I was a child. Nevertheless, I have tracked down the photocopies of all my passports since I was young (because getting the actual passports send over from Moscow- God knows why they are even there- will be yet *another* nightmare), and will spend the weekend trying to decipher all the various immigration stamps in them. While trying to simultaneously finish up my Titus Andronicus essay (which is what I am meant to be doing). Now you see what I mean by immigration wasting time.

So that is all so far for my ILR application. I’ll update probably on Monday evening, before I am due to fly out to Croatia. And speaking of Croatia, I had the frankly ingenious idea of calling the actual airline to check what their current visa/no visa information for Russian citizens, and they told me that all I need is a passport. Nevertheless, I am still getting another letter of invitation sent over just in case, as I am still getting so much mixed information. I am just hoping everything turns out okay, as I have been really looking forward to this (we are going on a quadbiking tour!).

Additionally, my application for the I-20 (what you need in order to apply for the F-1 student visa for the US) is being processed as of yesterday. It is meant to take around a month, and was on time last year. Hopefully, I can get the entire application out of the way during Easter so that I do not have a repeat of being stuck for 3 hours in the American Embassy the day before my end of year Introduction to Poetry exam. Scheduling immigration is, frankly, a skill in itself.

As for my Schengen visa for my summer french course, I have still to send over all my A-level results in order to get the process started. However, the course does not qualify for a student visa, so I’ll just be applying for an extended tourist one, which for me usually takes around 2 days. I’m worried as I never actually applied for my A-level certificates, I just kept the exam slips you receive on results day. Hopefully they will be aware that they legally stand in for certificates.

That is all for now. Do let me know, as always, of any questions that you might have either through the comments below or directly by email.

Ols.

P.S. I am currently obsessing over Jacques Lacan, and Structuralism, Post-Structuralism, and Psychoanalysis (in a literary context) in general. Although reading him gives an entirely new meaning to the idea of a ‘brain workout,’ it is fascinating stuff. (I’m going over Roland Barthes next, which will also be great fun).

Conundrums and Croatia

Swimming in the Thai sunset.

Okay, first off I owe you all an apology for this overdue post. I’ve been not only very busy with my degree but there hasn’t really been much immigration-related debacle recently. Up until now at least. For Christmas I ended up visiting Thailand and Dublin instead of New Zealand, which was incredible. However, I did not require a visa to Thailand, and the Irish visa process was so simple that I did not think it merited a whole blog post. You can either submit it by post or in person- I chose the former because I was in the midst of the university term and didn’t have time to go down to London during the week. Straight-forward, easy,free for Russian citizens, and received back in about 5-8 days (although it was 2 days later than I was told, but I won’t hold it against them.) Although I admittedly tend to go off on tangents, this blog is intended to be about my immigration experiences, and so I didn’t post about my actual time abroad, although I loved both places immensely. Again, apologies, and let me know if you have any questions about any of these.

So back to this post’s topic. To preface this, I am rather…oh how do I put this mildly…upset…Of course I realise I am being  pedantic and demanding and that my ‘upset’ is nowhere near to those ‘upset’ by *real* immigration issues. Nevertheless, unlike most of my other posts which were written at the end of a travel experience as a summary, I am writing this in the middle of the process. For Easter, we have arranged a 5 day holiday to Croatia. My best friend who is travelling with me is English, so while I’m busy dealing with all this, she is sorted. Oh alright I won’t rant about how unfair it is that I even *have* to get a visa to spend 5 days getting a tan and throwing money at Croatia’s tourist industry (yes, yes, terrorism, crime, overstayers, benefits cheat, etc, etc, we know, we know). I will now proceed to describe what happened:

1) So we decide to visit Croatia, and thus I do a bit of googling to find out whether I need a visa and what the procedure is. I get some rather mixed answers from the omniscient wide web and people alike. So when calling the same people who used to deal with my immigration when I was a minor to book my plane tickets, I asked them about the visa situation, and was informed that if you have a Russian internal passport (explained in my earlier posts) and some supporting information you do not need a visa, but that they will check just in case.

2) I call the Croatia embassy in London and am informed that I do need a visa, unless I have a Schengen one, which i currently do not. I decide to get a Schengen one as I might as well. Then I decided that I frankly cannot be bothered as I didn’t even originally plan to go there. So I call the Croatian embassy again (same person), asking if they are *sure* I need a visa. I am told that I do. I ask some people I know and am told that I do not. So I call the Croatian embassy again (same person), and ask them if they are *really* *really* sure I need a visa, re-explaining my entire situation, and am yet again told that I do and exactly which documents to bring etc. I receive the call back from the people who used to deal with my immigration, and they also tell me that it turns out I do need a visa.

3) Thus I get all my documents sorted for my visa application, which has to be in person. These are all exactly the same as for a Schengen visa- letter from university, bank statement, travel insurance, plane tickets, invitation from Croatia, etc etc. I found the visa application form incredibly repetitive and unsuitable. It never even asked if I have ever been to Croatia (I haven’t) and made my list the same information and addresses several times as it did not distinguish between employment, employee, students, those at work, family members etc etc. This was not really a problem, and only took around 10-15 minutes, I just think it could have been better arranged and useful for both me and the embassy.

4) So I get all my documents together, and schedule a free day during the week to go down to London. As for the letter of invitation, because I am not staying in a hotel, I actually needed to get an original copy of the letter sent from Croatia which was done- it came in 3 days (do not want to know how much that must have cost), and so I was ready to go to the embassy. Nothing too confusing so far, just the usual visa process for most places.

5) I go down to London (you do not need an appointment for a visa application) and get to the Embassy. Compared to the American one in London it is pretty small and is situated in an office district. From the outside it just looks like an ordinary home, but the inside is like an art gallery. It was empty of applicants and was beautiful, with painting and photographs on the walls. I could see into another room which was just filled with artwork. There were only three seats in front of the immigration booth, so I do not think they tend to have too many visa applications (we are in England after all). At this point I was pretty impressed.

6) We were shown in and courteously told to sit down. I mention the courteous part as it is very important. It is hard not to notice when you are being rudely dealt with and spoken to as if you are “lower” because you need a visa. I know I am being overly sensitive and again, people who actual deal with real racism (something which I have never had directed at me in its proper form), shall think I am pathetic, and rightly so. But the way I am treated during the visa process inevitably influences my whole experience of the country I’m visiting; something I cannot help. Anyways, so we sit down and I am called up to the booth.

7) The immigration officer asks to see my passport which I give him, and then my letter of invitation from Croatia. This is when he a) tells me that I do not need a visa and didn’t need to even come that day- that all I need is my passport and the original letter of invitation to enter Croatia, b) that the letter of invitation is invalid because the person who filled it out did so as though from  the company which owns where I am staying at instead of from himself (he works for the company), and because the printer had cut off the top 1mm of the page.

8) I started crying right in front of him. Actually crying. I mentioned in a former post that I hate delegating or trusting anyone else to do or know anything relating to my immigration dealings because everyone except me has a habit of always screwing up. I screw up in most areas of my life on a common basis, but not at this. Immigration bureaucracy is my hobby- I enjoy it and it is something that I actually consider myself rather skilled at. Note that I do not have that much of an issue having to jump through so many hoops in order to spend 5 days in Croatia- my view is that, as with any visa-requiring place, it is their country so they can set any rules and regulations they want (even if I do admittedly think they are counter productive and actually more harmful than helpful). But my opinion does not matter and I am fine with this. It is my choice to go to Croatia so if i have an issue I should just not go.

My issue is with people not being able to do the job that they are required to do, and acting as if I live outside the embassy and can just pop in at any point during my free schedule. I go to university in Durham, and, on such short notice, it cost me around £100 pounds to get to London and back. I repeatedly asked whether I do need to go there to apply for a visa and was repeatedly told that I do. I can not in any way see how it is remotely acceptable to have someone manning the embassy phones who did not do her homework. This is the official person who is meant to be up to date and informative about the visa process. I told her I would have to go down to London and she said that I that there is no alternative. And as for the invitation form issue, although this was someone else’s mistake, in their defence I do not know that person and am not staying with him but somewhere owned by the company he works for. For any other visa application this would be the correct way to fill out an invitation as it clearly is the most sensible. And *nowhere* did it state any requirements relating to the 1mm page issue.

9) At first when I started crying the official was quite harsh, telling me that if I was not able to do everything correctly I wouldn’t get to go. In my admittedly immature frame of mind, I asked for my documents back and began to say that fine, I don’t want to go to Croatia, I’ll go an holiday somewhere else. At this point the official began to talk about how, when Croatia enters the Schengen, because my parents have property links to Croatia I would be able to be issued with a 1 year Schengen multi-visa, at which point I stopped crying. Although he never once apologised to me for all the money and time I wasted because of being given incorrect information, he was really nice to me after this, explaining what kind of letter I needed and even came out of the booth to ask if I was okay. In hindsight, I am incredibly embarrassed and thank God no-one else was there, but I just don’t understand how even the officials are not aware of the correct information. Additionally, as soon as I decide to look at/ pay my enormous library fines (I am an English literature student), I will be pretty skint, and because of an entirely wasted trip (although I did get to see my mother).

The situation was unfair and showed incredible incompetence on their behalf but I do understand that this confusion is due to Croatia shortly joining the EU (when I would actually need  visa), and so all the regulations are in a state of change. Nevertheless, this is in no way an excuse. Although i spent the rest of the day being very angry, I have now gotten over it. What worries me is whether i will be actually allowed through the border. If everyone is so confused about the regulations, and the officials at the border phone someone as incompetent as the person at the phone in the Croatian embassy, I might be send back on the first plane to the UK, or not even allowed to board the plane in the first place. I have never been in any actual trouble with immigration and really wouldn’t mind spending those 5 days in the sun. I guess I’ll just have to go for it, and hope that at least the officials in charge of letting people into the country know what their job entails. Okay rant over, but if anyone knows anything about this, or has been through this themselves, *please* do email me or post below as I would really appreciate some assurance on the matter.

So before I finish the post, I just want to mention my impending indefinite leave to remain (UK) application. I will officially have lived in the UK for ten years around the 10th of January 2014, so I can make an application as early as 28 days before this date. I am meant to apply on the basis of ‘long residence’ having been on a student visa throughout. The thing is, as it is so expensive (I won’t put the price here but you can check it out on the UKBA website), I would really not mind paying more for the priority same day service, as otherwise they ‘aim to have 95% of applications done in 6 months.’ Unfortunately the ‘long residency’ application does not qualify for this service but there is no way I will be able to wait 6 months for my passport. I will be busy enough in middle of my 3rd  (final) year of university, and have to take the fabled ‘Life in the UK’ test and will probably need my passport at some point before June 2014. I will also be applying for a Master’s degree so I will need my passport back in time to apply for a further student visa if I am rejected for ILR (although i will be able to apply as late as September as my visa does not expire until October 2014). I read somewhere that you can also apply for ILR on the basis of the ‘right to a private life.’ I didn’t read all the conditions but one was that you have  to have lived in the UK for more than half your life and are between 18 and 25. I am 21 and although I would have lived here 2 years short of half my life, I would have lived here for most of it, more than anywhere else, as beforehand I lived in Russia for 5/6 years and Cyprus for 6. But I have no idea how this would be dealt with. Apparently they take everything such as cultural factors into consideration and connection to country of origin (my father lives there but I have never lived with him).

I am currently trying to find a way to qualify for a priority service as I really do not like the idea of indefinitely surrendering my passport. I have no idea how Romanians and Bulgarians getting the right to work here in 2014 will affect the queue of ILR applications, but it does make me worry that the processing time will be even longer than usual with the UKBA being even more busy. The thing is, there are only two reasons for me wanting ILR and then British citizenship a) to not have to apply for a visa every time I want to hop over to Europe, and b) I really want to be legally ‘from’ a country that I feel I culturally belong. It does seem strange that I am still a Russian citizen- a beautiful and exiting place but one which I rarely am able to visit and where I am called ‘English,’ and all except the lack of language barrier, treated as a tourist.I am not an economic migrant, and my life, except the reduction in visa applications, would be exactly the same were I to just carry on applying for student visas. Admittedly, all this cannot have come at a worse time- there are no retakes at university, the grade you are awarded is final, and it is ridiculous that I will have to run around dealing with this while everyone else is knuckled down making sure they get high grades. If I do go through with my application, I will definitely alert my department and ask for some extension for my January summatives (essays that count towards your final grade), but nevertheless, the inconvenience is making me think that this might not be worth it. My ‘big plan’ was to move to the US after my Masters, at least for a bit, so I really wanted to become a British citizen before then. Technically speaking, if everything goes to plan, this still would be possible in terms of the time frame, but I cannot help thinking that even if this all works out I will still need visas for the US. I just don’t know if I want to sacrifice so much time during the most important year of my life so far dealing with something that I do not technically need (although which would be incredible and an amazing privilege).

In conclusion, I am hiring a lawyer. I feel so ridiculous doing this, but I need to be able to understand the whole system, and to see if there is any kind of way that I could get my application dealt with quicker that 6 months. We have lawyers in Russia (the ones who dealt with my immigration before) but I need someone in the UK to fill out applications and find out all the details etc as I will not have time for all this. Additionally, I need to start revising for the ‘Life in the UK’ test in the summer. If any of you guys have been through any of this then please feel free to email me directly or respond in the comments as any advice would be much appreciated. Also, I have now started the US student visa process for this summer so in the next post I’ll also update you on that.

Everyone thank you so much for reading. I know the whole purpose of this blog was to make immigration more fun/bearable, but unfortunately some of it is just a pain.

Olly Teregulova x

P.S. I had, at the beginning of term, read Jonathan Coe’s “What A Carve Up!” and it blew my mind. I am now writing an essay comparing it to Orwell’s ’1984.’ Trust me, it is an incredible read.

Hobbits and Bureaucracy

“I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.”Oscar Wilde

The image above is of the entrance to my room in our newly-rented student house in Durham, which is where I am currently located. Partly due to sharing a birthday with Frodo and Bilbo Baggins (September 22, otherwise known as Hobbit Day), and being of an arguably rather short stature, I quite enjoy its christening as “The Hobbit Hole” by the previous inhabitants. But more about hobbits later on.

The last post ended with a promise to describe the experiences at my two appointments at the Consular Section of the Russian Embassy in London, scheduled for the 4th of September. Unfortunately, this shall no longer be possible, at least for the time being, for which Your Humble Narrator sincerely apologises. Despite what I frequently told my teachers at Sixth Form, I happen to be one of those people who hardly every suffers from illness, barring minor colds and flus. However, although arriving from Ghana the previous morning completely unscathed, (albeit mildly depressed at ending my summer adventures), the last time I was as ill as I was on the 4th was most likely when I had chickenpox as I child. After waking up feeling like death warmed up on the day of my long-awaited appointments, I did what any sensible chronic hypochondriac would do- I googled my symptoms. Naturally, after being reliably informed by the omniscient entity called “The Internet” that I was indeed suffering from malaria, I spent my day vomiting in various Heathrow Terminal 5 bathrooms, unable to even cancel my appointments.

As with most temporary illnesses, I felt slightly better by the evening as we drove to the hotel in Watford near the hospital I was meant to have surgery at the following morning.It was at some point during the journey that I had the exceptionally profoundly stupid idea to stop by the hospital and inform someone of how unwell I was. After my surgeon was telephoned, I was told that it was likely that my surgery would have to be cancelled for now, and that I had to immediately go to the nearest A&E to have a malaria screen. Three hours (of quiet grumbling about the lack of severity of illnesses of the people allowed to be seen before me) later, I had some blood samples taken, and went to bed. Next morning, still slightly shaking and nauseous, I was discharged from the hospital at 7:30am, after 25 minutes of futile pleading with my (incredible) doctor and anaesthesiologist. Of course, I do see their point, as if I had actually been ill after the six hour surgery it would have been a catastrophe of indescribable proportions. Nevertheless, I was still sulky when my malaria screen came back negative, and even more so when I began to feel completely well around 1 o’clock.

My operation is now scheduled for the 19th of September, which unfortunately has ruined my afore-mentioned Mallaig, Scotland trip, as well as my birthday (the 2nd consecutive one spent in hospital to date.) After that I have a maximum of two weeks until I must face the world again, which is by no means long enough. Even my previous surgery date was pushing the 1-3 month recommended recovery time, but hopefully it will be alright. After briefly considering investing in a nice,hefty burqa, I dismissed the option due it being (let’s face it) much more conspicuous in Durham, UK, than walking around with the same head to body ratio as Eric Cartman of South Park fame.

For the few of you interested, I am to undergo a 2nd stage pectoralis minor muscle transfer, having had the 1st stage operation last summer, which is, of course, very exciting for all involved. Despite my surgeon’s admissions that “the Almightly is much more talented than [he is],” the surgery went very well last time, with an overall recovery time so short that I cannot actually remember it (although that might have been the codeine). As upset as I am at the reschedule and my inevitably impending social doom, my disappointment is nothing compared to that of the young medical student who was invited to come all the way from India to observe my surgery. Despite the rare nature of this type of operation (although my surgeon has conducted more than 400 in his lifetime- God knows how he managed to find that many people who required it), I will not be focusing on or describing details of it in this blog due to it being completely irrelevant in topic (other than to say that I survived it, fingers crossed). Nevertheless, if anyone is interested please feel free to comment/contact me by email for any further questions,information or advice.

I am now in Durham biding away the time until the 19th by accustoming myself to the current bone-crushing cold (known as “a sunny day” up here),finishing up my glorious beast of a reading list, working on various extracurricular projects (watch this spot), and gorging myself on anything and everything that is not Ghanian Red-Red-type rice (which, although delicious, becomes slightly repetitive after a month of constant consumption). For future reference and general interest, I shall now describe my previous and formerly planned tribulations with The Russian Embassy.

The first time I entered the Consular Section was at the age of 18 after my suitcase was stolen from a London to Brighton train. I was on the way to meet my mother on her birthday, and begin the journey up to Edinburgh which was my present to her. After having booked and planned the entire trip, as an afterthought I tossed my passport into my suitcase in case I might require it for the hotel registration (which, as irony would have it, I did not). After reporting the crime to the police we still went up to Scotland and had a fantastic time, but even when I returned home the police had not been able to accomplish much. Thus I had to begin the passport replacement procedure, which is much more lengthy that the 48 hour (for a nominal fee of course) UK one. First of all I had to go to the Notting Hill Gate police station to receive an official record of crime document, and then submit it along with other various documents to the Russian Embassy (back then you did not have to book an appointment). I was dismissed with a piece of paper stating that I had submitted a new passport application and the promise of a vaguely-dated phone call when my passport was ready. Four whole months later I got my new passport, at which point I had to run around dealing with the UKBA in order to get a new student visa as soon as possible. The worst part of working with the (incompetence of the) Russian Consular Section, at least in London, is the waiting and the uncertainty, and it is this that makes me so cautious in allowing them anywhere near my identity documents. They behave and act (or at least used to) as though I have nothing better to do than to stop my life in order to travel down to their offices 3 times a week and sit around waiting for them to do their job.

The staff at the Consular section are, for lack of a better word, lazy (or, again, used to be) because they can afford to be. As will be discussed in my ultimate post on immigration to come, Russia is in fact a separate country from the Ukraine and co., since the Soviet Union dissolved around 1991 (apologies to most, but it is incredible how many people seem to be confused about this). Unlike Ukraine and co. (I just mean this as a shorthand and not as disrespect to any of the other countries), Russia is not in the EU, thus there is no right to work or live in the UK for its citizens, like there is for those of Ex-Soviet Eastern European countries that entered the EU in 2004. Thus, because it is so difficult for a Russian citizen to get to live in the UK , there are not that (comparatively) many here at this present time. This means that the Consular Section of the Embassy has relatively little work as it is. On top of this, the entire Embassy celebrates not only all the British holidays but the Russian ones too, such as Victory Day, Russia Day, and Unity Day to name a few, meaning it is closed for a large amount of the time. Partly because of this, it functions incredibly slowly, and has only recently even introduced an appointment system, and even more recently one in English.

My next experience with the Consular Section was when I tried to begin the same process as my two appointments on the 4th concerned, which was almost 3 years ago now. What I am trying to accomplish is to change two letters in my first name. In order to do this I must, in no particular order: a) register at a UK address in my internal Russian passport (Russian citizens have two passports, one strictly national, one international), b) begin the “process” of petitioning for a name change ( I haven’t ever gotten this far so I do not know the details) c) get a new UK student visa re-issued (for  nominal fee of course), d) register my new student visa with the police (for a nominal fee again), e) get a new Cypriot residence permit issued f) inform my university g) inform UCAS h) apply for a new driver’s license i) apply for new credit cards j) change my name on various other files and databases such as GP k) apply again for any current visas in my passports l) wait an indefinitely amount of time for the Russian Embassy to give me a new passport. Anyone would wonder why I would put myself through all this hassle for the sake of two letters, and as I was lying in bed on the 4th trying not to think of the asparagus I ate the night before, so was I.

In any case, I turned up to the Embassy needing to be be registered at a UK address in my internal passport, as my mother never did this due to lack of necessity. This happened to be a couple of days after, unbeknown to me, the Embassy implemented an actual appointment system online, thus I had to leave and make one. 2 months later, I attended it after waiting for 2 odd hours for anyone to attend at the desk. At this point I was informed that I had to be unregistered in Russia, for which I would have to send my passport there, which I was told would take around two months, so I gave them my internal passport. Two months later I arrived at the Consular Section again, by appointment, inquiring what had been done-nothing. My passport was still there, not having even been sent, and I was informed that the process would actually take anywhere from 6 months to a year. Naturally, I was a tad angry. I decided to take my passport back and send it to Moscow myself (via recorded special delivery of course) to the same people who dealt with my visa when I was a minor, so that they could submit it to the Consular Section there for me. 7 whole days later, it was returned to me unregistered. It was at this point that I fully understood the ineptitude that I faced. Nevertheless, I continued.

After receiving my internal passport, I attended an appointment to be registered in the UK, which all (after several hours of waiting despite there being no queue) went to plan. Then, before I had time to attend any more appointments, I turned 20, which is the age at which one has to apply for a new internal passport (do not ask me why). Naturally, I did not do this through the embassy, but sent my internal passport to the same people in Moscow, who also did nothing for several months, and then announced in the middle of my first-year university exams that I would have to attend an appointment in Moscow despite expressly telling me previously that this would not be the case. As soon as I possibly could I flew over there, and met with them, and was informed that if I was “extremely lucky” we would get it done in a day, rather than several months.

I am not sure what exactly happened there, as all I had to do was sign my new passport, but all I know is that it involved a couple of officers, some Rubles, and a large bottle of whiskey as a thank you gift from us (don’t worry, it was legal, all I did was skip the months-long queue). After being repeatedly informed of how lucky I was I arrived back to London 24 hours later internal passport in hand, which brings me to the present. My first appointment on the 4th was to be registered in the UK in my internal passport, and my second was with the elusive notary who seems to spend his life on vacation (because employing two would, of course, be too much to ask). At the moment I have no appointments booked, and am questioning whether it is actually worth it. Although I am disappointed at having missed this opportunity, I now do not have to face the question of whether I should put my Christmas adventure in jeopardy by going ahead with the process, or put it off for after the holidays. I am now still deciding, but shall probably try to re-book the appointments as soon as possible after the Christmas holidays, which would be a much better time, as by the looks of it I will be doing an internship in Easter and thus shall not require my passport. Or I could wait until I get my British citizenship and just do it then. Nevertheless, I will update when/if there is any progression, but for now, all this is finally on hold.

I feel it is important to mention that,although a snack bar or a vending machine would not go amiss in lieu of the long waiting times, the individuals working at the Russian Embassy’s consular department are very courteous and polite, (although a woman did get escorted out for complaining about the abysmal service). It is the system that I have issue with, not the people. In fact, the man who takes your name and lets you into the gate (we have a running joke about him searching my bag as I am there so often) is so delightful, that he has actually been given the starring role of Prabaker in my reading of Gregory David Robert’s Shantaram in my mental theatre, as well as an adaptation of Tom Hardy’s Eames from Inception taking the role of Didier.

For those of you awaiting the promised hobbits, here is where they finally come in. I am to spent Christmas and New Years in New Zealand this year, and my first priority is to visit the hobbit holes left after the completion of the Lord of the Rings movie, which has literally been a life-long dream of mine, as well as to celebrate Christmas on the beach. I am also going to the South of France before that, and a potential trip to Moscow/St Petersburg to visit family in between. So thus my next post shall cover my general plans, New Zealand visa application (which will be a first for me), my Schengen visa application, details of what one needs to do and ways to simplify what to do when you apply for a tourist visa but are not planning to stay at a hotel/resort/tourist place, and so on. Additionally, if anyone has any suggestions about places to visit in New Zealand for a newbie, please let me know.

At the moment, I am reading “the Sea is my Brother” by Jack Kerouac, which was written when he was 20, but only published in 2011 partly due to his assertion that it was “a crock (of shit) as literature.”  Whether the latter is true or not is up to you, but it is definitely a very interested read, so absolutely recommended.

Olly.

That Latin student who went to the edge of the world

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.“- Marcel Proust.

   The above photograph is that of Cape Coast, which is where I am now located. I have decided to delay this post until I had settled in here more or less, in order for it to be slightly more informative and expansive. The following will be much more in line with the overall immigration-focused direction of this blog than my previous post, as I shall mostly cover bureaucracy and what I have experienced of Ghanaian culture thus far, as well as other issues.

I will now take up from where I left off, which is in the midst of Harvard Summer School in Cambridge, MA. Although unfortunately I did not get a chance to travel in the US due to the intensive nature of the Latin course I was taking (aside from a brief but delightful visit to a good friend in Cleveland, Ohio), I had an incredible time. New England is absolutely mesmerizing in the summer, despite the heat, and my time at Harvard was definitely was one of the most worthwhile and educational of my life.

First, before covering my travels, I shall explain details about the AAb- Intensive Latin course for those who are interested. This course is just under two months in length, with an extra day off to celebrate 4^th of July, running up to the 10^th of August. The overall aim is to induce you into to a study of Latin from a beginner’s level to being able to read texts on your own with a dictionary; covering actual Cicero, Ovid and such passages at the end of each chapter. Nevertheless, the vast majority of students in the class were either linguists and thus already experienced in Romance languages, mediaevalists, or already students of Latin, although there were one of two complete beginners. I can honestly say that at Harvard I have received the best language tuition possible, and cannot recommend the course enough to anyone who is currently selecting.

Although I am unable to comment on previous years, this year the course was taught by two instructors, who would alternate between classes. Students spend 4 hours a day 5 days a week being formally taught from 10am-12am and then again from 1pm-3pm with a recommended additional 10 hours of independent study. For an arts student at a British university, the amount of contact time was an incredible luxury to me, although it did take me some time to adapt to the American system of grading. Assessment was conducted via daily quizzes, hour-long Monday tests, a midterm, and a final 3-hour examination at the end of the course, all of which counted towards the final mark received. Accustomed to stretching out revision in order to perform best at a final assessment as per the British system, I found it strange, strenuous, but much more efficient.

For those familiar with the British educational system, the course in its entirety is roughly equal to a full A-level, coming in without the background knowledge usually acquired at GCSE. For those within the American university system, the Latin AAb is, in format and material covered, the same as the one covered at Harvard University over a year, so it is naturally incredibly fast-paced. I believe it is the equivalent of 8 course credits for US university students, although I am not completely certain so double-check if you need to.

Although, as I have stated, I cannot comment on previous years, I can say with certainty that this was the most pleasant class that I have ever had the pleasure of being a part of. Although hard work, it was incredible fun, and I have learnt so much that I can apply not only to my independent Latin studies, but to my actual current English literature degree. I cannot recommend it highly enough, (definitely make sure you nip into JP Licks while you are there, right across from Harvard Yard- incredible coffee and the staff are absolutely lovely).

Now back to my tale. Having completed the final 3-hour examination, I finished speed-packing (I am an expert) and drove back to Boston Logan airport. After weeks of sizzling sun there finally came a downpour, as America mourned my departure (I like to think). My journey to Ghana was split into two parts- the flight to Kotoka airport in Accra, Ghana, via a four-hour transit through Heathrow airport. Normally I need to make sure that I have completed all my travel arrangements myself so as to avoid any catastrophes due to…well, various incompetencies. However, this time, I entrusted the booking of my plane tickets to a third party, the same people who used to deal with my various student visa applications when I was a minor. My flight from Boston left on the 10^th of August and arrived on the 11^th at Heathrow, finally landing in Accra on the 12^th. Unfortunately, as I mentioned, the transit time between flights was only four hours, which left me incredibly worried for a number of reasons.

Firstly and most alarmingly is the undeniable ineptitude of the Heathrow Immigration Control (bearing in mind I was travelling towards the end of the 2012 Olympics). After enduring many a 3-6 hour wait in the Non-EU queue due to staff shortage, I was very apprehensive that I would be able to make it in time for my flight. Secondly, for some unknown reason my two flights were booked with two different airlines, American and British Airways. Thus I was unable to schedule my luggage to arrive directly in Accra, but was forced to collect it and drop it off again. Lastly, well aware of the importance of that extra five minutes in the difference between making and missing a flight, the fact that I was to land in Terminal 3 and leave from Terminal 5 left me worried. Although the Heathrow Express is, to date, the most reliable transportation service I have ever witnessed, it could have still have been partial to delays. (For those who do not know, on top of the customary Paddington to/from Heathrow journey, it also transports passengers between the Heathrow Terminal free of charge.)

Nevertheless, all went well, as I managed to persuade the flight attendant to let me off the plane first, and, after bolting at top speed while simultaneously scribbling details on my immigration card mid-run, I managed to arrive first in the queue. Luckily there were no remaining passengers from previous flights allowing me to be to be served without delay.

It was so strange to be in England again after becoming so used to Cambridge MA. I have realized that if you travel a lot without a break the places you visit, no matter how culturally and visually different, all get muddled up together. The idea of crossing thousands of miles and several continents gets lost on you due to the insular nature of plane travel. And due to currently being, not exactly homeless, but “without a home”, the dizzying effect was even stronger.

In any case, after managing to board my flight to Kotoka in good time, my journey was seamless, arriving in Accra in the late evening. I will now detail all the various immigration bureaucracy and visa requirements that I had to complete before my African visit. Although a lot of what I am about to say is detailed on the website of the Ghanaian High Commissioner/Embassy, there are many additional points as well as elucidations of unclear ones. Also, all this information will apply to EU citizens looking to apply for Ghanaian visas, as they are requirements for almost all travelers.

1)   First of all, as with most visa applications, you have to select an appointment via their online service, which is luckily a lot more straightforward than most of other Embassies/Consular departments. Fill out all the various information and make sure you are well aware of the type of visa you require, as the options are slightly different to the Schengen/EU visa application. Although my exact type of visa escapes me, it one of the many variants on the temporary work visa (I am working as a journalist for a newspaper for a month).

2)   Unfortunately, due to time constraints, I was forced to pay for the 24 hour visa service, delivered on the next working day. However, to be fair, the prices overall seem to be a lot less than for most applications. Just so you are aware, if the website does not allow you to select a particular service at a particular location then this means that it is not given in that Embassy, and is not just a computer malfunction.

3)   Keep on following all the instructions on the website, and complete all the questions as accurately as possible. My appointment was in London, as the Glasgow location, although much closer to my university, did not process 24-hour applications. Additionally, when I reserved my appointment online, for some reason the website would not allow me to pay visa credit card. If this is the case you are able to pay on the day in person at the same charge, although cash is not accepted.

4)   Although the website details what you are to bring to your appointment, I always bring pretty much everything just in case, after being told at the Cypriot Embassy in London that I had to have brought printed copies of my passport after being clearly informed by the information on their website that this was not the case (the lady did photocopy my passport herself afterwards, right before granting me a 5-year tourist visa, but that is not the point). Although the Ghanaian application pretty much only requires the filled out sheet, passport, and Yellow Fever vaccination, I still brought along all the documents that are normally required for a Schengen visa such as my birth certificate, letter from my University, bank statement, and so forth, just incase, although they were not needed.

5)   As far as waiting times at Embassies go, this was the quickest. Although not having a snack bar like the US Embassy in London, it did have the advantage of not locking up applicants, so I was able to go for lunch while waiting for my appointment. Make sure however, that you arrive at least 30 minutes early to pick up your appointment slip so that you are not severely delayed. On submitting my passport, I believe I waited a total of just under 1.5/2 hours, which is very little, believe it or not. My actual appointment, as always, lasted around 5/7 minutes, where I quickly gave them my passport to be picked up the next day.

6)   After arriving the following day to collect my passport it became evident that the staff had forgotten/not had time to attach my visa, so I had to wait a further hour while the official could get away from the queue of applications in order to glue on and sign my visa sticker. Nevertheless, all in all it was one of the most seamless and definitely one of the most inexpensive of all the visa application I have ever submitted.

Generally speaking, the attitude of Ghanaian government officials, whether in the UK or over here, is very relaxed, just like the civilian citizens. Everything is done slowly but hassle-free, in contrast with the stressful atmosphere of the Russian Consular Section of the Embassy in London, where everything is not only done as humanely slowly as possible, but as inconveniently as can be as well. This is true to such an extent that I was forced to remind the officer at passport control (no queue by the way) to check my Yellow Fever vaccination.

After spending one night in Accra after my flight, I took the three-hour long tro-tro to Cape Coast at 7am in the morning. Ghana is just as a seasoned traveler might expect, and as I did, despite my closest visit to it being to Egypt a few years back. There are certain cultural and pragmatic points that must be mentioned, however.

Ghana as a developing country has managed to improve its economic position incredibly well. Although there is a lot of poverty and a substantial amount of slum-type living, it is nothing like that of Egypt and certain parts of India. Everywhere you go there are billboards encouraging Ghanaians to eat well, not smoke (there is a smoking ban in all public places), and to be healthy, as well as educated. People are very welcoming, and so far I have not had any negative experiences, although any visitor, especially female, must take common sense precautions.

Although I do miss any food that does not consist mainly of rice (me and my housemates went for a pizza the other day and its was nothing short of glorious), and,(although refreshing in the heat), I do look forwards to not having to have cold showers, my week here so far has been very pleasant. So far I have managed to visit cape Coast Castle which is a must see for everyone, a couple of beaches, and generally explore Abura and the London Bridge area. Unfortunately, as I am leaving next Sunday I will not be able to travel further north, to explore places such as the beautiful Volta region. Good places to eat and spend afternoons are Oasis, Baobab, and Sizzlers, with the latter being situated next to the best and most deserted beach in Cape Coast short of taking a longer taxi.

For me there are only two downsides to living in Ghana, with the former being more of an inconvenience at times- that you have to barter for absolutely everything. Coming from London, the cheap cost of taxis shocked me (they are cheaper than a bottle of water, often), but nevertheless, before you get into a taxi you must always ask “How much?” Although people say that usually you are meant to bring the price down to half the original, sometimes (well, once so far) the first price given is reasonable. I think it is best to just find out what the price should be from others who have taken a taxi to the same place previously. Although bartering is easy- just state your price, sulk, and pretend to start walking away, it is annoying at times, but expected.  Additionally, if you want an even cheaper price make sure you say “share taxi” to the driver, so that he will pick up other people on the way so that you only pay part of the fare, as opposed to “drop” where you will be driven on your own and charged the full amount.

The second down-side is quite common I think, in many countries, but is rarely spoken of explicitly. Most people in Ghana are very religious, family orientated, clean-living, and employed. I have not witnesses any begging at all in Cape Coast so far, thus I am not talking about the kind of feeling of pathetic helplessness in the face of something so much greater and more awful than yourself that you feel confronted with a mob of begging, barefoot children in India. All my housemates and foreigners I have met agree that the amount of attention you get, going anywhere and doing anything, must be the same as being a celebrity. Everyone is very kind and seem delighted to meet you, stopping on the street to welcome you to Ghana, and all the children running out to wave at you. It is strange to get so much attention for doing nothing. However, I do understand that, although Ghana has a lot of tourism by African standards, there are still very few foreigners around so it must be interesting to meet people from so far away.

Although not coming from a malicious places, this can get very exhausting-having to pretend you know where you are going even though you are completely lost and the sun is about to set and your phone is out of battery but you don’t want people to see that you have no idea where you are because it will take forever to greet everyone and explain to them that they cannot help you because on top of everything you have no idea what the number/name/surroundings of the place you are going are called. And so on. Although, having said that, I cannot imagine anywhere else that a lady would leave a café to walk with me for no less than half an hour in order to show me where my house is (luckily I remembered the number this time).

Extending from this last point, is the issue with the term “obruni”- meaning “white person”. Late nights in Oasis, where all the foreigners meet from al over the world to drink and discuss their lives and experiences in Ghana, agree that it is a little hard to get accustomed to, with many taking it as an offense. One of my housemates now ignores people who call her “obruni” when she walks down the street as “that is not {her} name, so {she} won’t respond to it.” Although the term is in no way meant as an offense, just as a fact, the idea that you are defined by the fact that you are white or lighter-skinned does eventually get annoying. Although I agree with her to an extent, I do realize that it is just part of the language, (partly because that is what the Editor in Chief kindheartedly calls me at work and I cannot exactly blank him).

I must admit that all in all I am very sad to leave, as I have settled in so well here and have fallen into a great routine. I would love to have the chance to explore more of Ghana, and travel some, but unfortunately I am leaving on the 2^nd of September and arriving on the 3^rd back in England. However, this will not be the complete end to my summer adventure- after two appointments at the Russian Embassy on the 4^th (which is what my next post will be predominantly about), after having a minor operation and hiding out in Durham to recover, I will travel, in late September, to what is probably one of the most remote part of Scotland, at the very North West edge, by the sea, which I will also detail in a post.

Until then I will leave you with a great piece of advice: Read “Shantaram” by Gregory David Roberts. You’re welcome.

Wes Anderson and my affairs with hotel rooms

 “For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel’s sake. The great affair is to move.” – Robert Louis Stevenson.

The above is clearly not, as the title might suggest, a hotel room. It is in fact my college room at university which I recently vacated before the holidays. Although definitely not a follower of feng shui per se, the arrangement of a room is of optimum importance in terms of my performance in anything, as well as my general well-being. Moving furniture around in the middle of the night is a very prominent hobby of mine.

This first post, unlike my “about me” section, will not focus on immigration. Thus, until I leave for Ghana in 3 weeks, visa at the ready, travel bureaucracy shall be kept at a minimum. However please feel free to send me any questions you might have.

To continue, having not particularly enjoyed residing in college accommodation this year (exciting as it was, there were some serious drawbacks), I shall finally be moving into an actual house this coming October. With a garden. Although for many undergraduates having their own first home is a momentous occasion, signalling their cemented independence and “responsibility,” it is slightly different with me.

When my mother went into labour with me, my parents lived in a very small and meagre apartment somewhere in central Moscow. Keeping out cockroaches was a daily struggle (they feed on my mother’s oil paintings), and my parents must have been relieved when the three of us were able to move into a new apartment straight after we left the hospital. The new place, my first home, was, by British standards, very cramped, a tiny Second World War-type. I remember the toy cat that sat perched atop our old television, and the cot from which I eventually managed to gnaw my way to freedom. I believe it had to be cellotaped after that episode.

As luck would have it, when I was three or four we relocated to lovely house in the Moscow suburbs. Designed by my parents in its entirety, complete with playground, it was featured in home design magazines and was a dream to live in for a child. Huge garden with roses and berries and surrounded by miles of countryside, it was perfect.

After relocating to a villa by the sea in Limassol, I moved out for good when I was twelve and lived at various boarding schools, as well as our flat in Brighton during holidays and the odd weekend. After my GCSE’s I lived in various Central London apartments, moving with frequency. Around that time I also temporarily lived on a boat for a summer.

For the past two years my official permanent address, that of my mother’s, is at a hotel. Although I have always wanted a house where I know I can buy furniture for, and nail paintings to the walls, it would be almost verging on alien for me. I feel at home in hotels, as well as airports. I know Gatwick and Heathrow like the back of my hand, having actually lived in the latter for two weeks. For the past few years, I have most probably spent more weekends in a hotel than not. The concept of a “real home” is lost to me, both in the sense of house and country.

I am, as it turns out, infatuated with Wes Anderson’s movies and would happily give up anything to live in his make-believe world of patterns, colours, silences as emphatic as the outfits. Familial strife is one of my areas of expertise, thus, it comes as no shock that The Royal Tenenbaums and The Darjeeling Limited are most dear to me.

Jack: What did he say?

Peter: He said the train is lost.

Jack: How can a train be lost? It’s on rails.

Brendan: We haven’t located us yet.

As the above excerpt from the latter demonstrates, the extravagant minimalism of Anderson’s creations are just as poignant in their  analogies as, say, Beckett’s ”Waiting for Godot,” Every flicker of a potential action, every edge of a setting is important both for the audience, and the characters themselves. Like a lighter Faulkner, Anderson presents to us the reunion of a family battered out. Although hardly any introduction is presented, particularly in The Darjeeling Limited where we are brought in in media res, we feel like we have known the Whitman Brothers for the longest time.

The prelude we are given is, however, Hotel Chevalier. Jack Whitman’s year in a Paris hotel room, and his generally poetic existence is enviable. Anderson clearly has a fetish for hotels reminiscent of my own, with the estranged Royal Tenenbaum also inhabiting one until he is financially forced to leave.

We, as an audience, marvel at Francis Whitman’s naivety that he can force what’s left of his family to find themselves, “On the Road“-style, in India. But he miraculously succeeds. Although, as the tagline for The Royal Tenenbaums goes: “Family isn’t a word. It’s a sentence,” and hotel rooms clearly are a symbol of estrangement, Jack Whitman’s luxuriously nomadic existence; from New York, to Paris, to India, and then, potentially, to Italy, living on (presumably) his writing, surely is attractive to all.

Although I like to pretend I live in a Wes Anderson movie, nevertheless, it will be pleasant to finally live in a home with a garden, apple trees, and a fireplace. However, I can still cannot hang paintings on the walls.